There has been this permeating thought that has stuck with me all week, which seems to be fueling my every intention. In my last blog post, I mentioned "making room for my own wild dreams" within the day-to-day routines we create for the sake of sanity. Which as nice as this thought is, I realize I will never make the kind of room I want to make, unless some actual changes are made.
I have understood this for a long time, but have had a laissez faire attitude about "change". Especially, since I have always thought of change as something evolving to fit the need at the time --- a matter of adaptation. Occurring naturally despite the occasional barrier.
However, in this latest climate of uncertainty, I am beginning to deeply crave things that are real and true, that I can sink my energy into and will serve a purpose. And so I've begun to meditate daily on the adage: "Be the change you want to see in the world."
But what does such a thing even mean?
Well, to me it means I will never have an ounce of control over others' decisions, but I will always have control over how I let their decisions affect me, and how I choose to better myself and react.
I've spent a lot of time looking at what is important to me, making observations and taking notes. I've written about my values and have attempted to communicate what makes me happy. Neither light, nor pointless tasks. Yet, I can't say I've honestly challenged myself to the point of complete change.
So from here on out, I will give meaning to the vows I make in the form of resolutions. I will no longer live a life dictated by what society deems as "valuable". But instead, I will create my own framework developed from intention and purpose. I will minimize the material and emotional clutter that bogs me down, and inhibits me from contributing more thoughtful dialogue. I will consume less.
As with any changes, what I'm attempting to achieve won't happen over night, and it is probably wise to keep things in perspective. I will avoid using the words "realistic" or "practical", because that is the language of absolutism disguised as normative thinking.
I will continue to share my experiences through this transformative process, but I will also assert that this is by no means a suggestion or recommendation to others.
And so it begins, with Phase I.